My Elder was answering this question, "When will I know that I am ready to start a relationship?" and he shared many good and relevant principles for us to consider. And the first one was "When you are willing to remain single for Christ's sake, that is a pre-requisite to marriage." Sounds weird doesn't it? But there is much value in this statement. Because only when one is contented to remain single for the Lord's sake, only then will one be patient to wait for the Lord to send the right one into his/her life rather than start fabricating and scheming your way to get the heart of the other. I recall how I told the Lord I would want to start looking for a life partner from May '09 and now it's already Nov '09 with not much progress. Will I then because of my impatience start to be unthinking and careless in the way I deal with the sisters around me? This is a timely reminder for myself to be sober minded and not react to pressure or circumstances. The other reason why that principle is a pre-requisite is because it will help one to have self-control and not "cross the line" during the dating/courtship phase. Again it is patience. Patience to wait for things that ought to be done during marriage and not the exploring phase, done ONLY at the marriage phase! If I am prepared to remain single for God, then at no point during the exploring phase should I ever think that she belongs to me and defraud her by not treating her honorably in the process.
These are hard teachings, especially in a society that speaks otherwise. But like I always remind myself, "Normal doesn't mean right, Tough doesn't mean wrong".
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