why so downcast O my soul!?

Ps 42:5-6a
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation
6 and my God.

The dinner I had with my mum and uncle yesterday was a hard but inevitable one. And to think that a few days ago I was so confident that I will answer anyone who "question" about the kind of work I am doing with much gusto and confidence. I realized that it was really not easy to share the reason why I am in full time Christian ministry and what I do to people who dun share the same faith and the same mindset as me. Judging by the world's standards, which is to measure success by your status in the company and your payroll I am definitely way below the average. Which is why I could understand their concern. It is only then I realized that the failure to be able to communicate clearly my job scope to them is causing them to think that I am aimless and wasting my life away. And by their definition, I am in my comfort zone. I simply cannot swallow it down! Do they know how many sleepless nights and how much I must go beyond myself in order to reach out to the youths, manage the volunteers with me, prepare my Bible studies? They don't! And they can't! Because they don't share the same love I have for God and His Work. I was shaken by the end of the dinner, thinking about the way I have handled it and how I should move on after hearing all the concerns they have, which so are valid. (e.g. How am I going to feed my own family next time if I do not have savings, If something happens to my parents can I support them etc.)

But I thank God for encouraging me in His perfect timing. After my BS with YH, he actually passed me a card for my birthday with notes written by the different POD members. I am so so so so so so encouraged by what was written and it has brought me to remember what and why am I doing all this for! It is the young lives that I want to reach out to that they may live lives pleasing to our God. People may not understand, but it's ok because my hope is in God and God alone! (That does not justify my lack of clear communication of what I do to my parents. I will work on that)

As much as these students may have been encouraged by the time I have spent with them, they do not know just how invaluable and timely their note of encouragement has been to me. Thank God for He knows best!