He is Our El-Roi

Thought I should record down the testimony I gave in my church service a month ago to remind and remind and remind and remind me again and again and again when the going gets tough. So below is a transcript of what I shared:

Have u ever felt really really down and just dun feel like carrying on? I felt like this just 2 weeks ago when I was tasked to plan for a particular project. I felt like Job (read Job 3:1-4, 11, 24-26), cursing the day I was tasked with the project when i was thrown by a barrage of questions and issues. With my 13 years as a Christian and 3 years ++ in full time ministry, I still thot I had experienced enuff difficulties to be able to handle anything. But this time was so bad, I could hardly put up a smile. So it was kind of fake, where I had to put up a smile in front of students but then after that, I sink into what young people would term as 'emo-ness'.

The thought of running away and giving up was very strong. I tried to reason with myself saying that since there's no joy, might as well don't do since we are supposed to serve God cheerfully. But God reminded me, through songs, people, book but especially His Word, that running away is not the solution! The flesh always thinks about running away on the sight of difficulty because it is not within it's comfort zone but running away when it comes to serving Him has never been a solution in God's dictionary. I think of Jonah, Moses, Joshua etc.

Allow me to share with you just one thing that helped me bounce back and shook me up to put me in the right perspective when it comes to serving Him. I am currently doing my devotion on the different names of God, and God very timely showed me that He is a God who sees, our El-Roi. (Gen 16:13) Even though people may not know what is going on within me, even though it may seem like an impossible task ahead, God sees all these things. And if He sees, I can be assured that He is in control and on top of the situation. He is not a God who sees but is helpless or a God who likes to see me suffer. He is moulding me. This simple truth turned me around.

I do not know if I will fall again, but one thing I know: He is my El-Roi, the God who sees. Finally it is not what I can do, but what God can do through me. And if God called me to the task, I can be sure that He will qualify me for the task ahead!

But what actually comforted me the most about the experience God put me through is that it was an encouragement to the others in my church (at least 2 that I know of). I guess that's when I must be mindful of all that the Lord puts me through because it can be a source of encouragement and comfort for others around me.