prayer 101

Last week's prayer gathering was interesting... No because I play the guitar out of rhythm a couple of times but the way the initiator was describing the different "types" of prayer. And they are:

* Conditional prayer
- We tell God, "If you answer this prayer of mine, I promise to go to church/do my Q.T/ tithe more etc."

* Threatening prayer
- We threaten God to answer our prayers by saying, "If you don't answer my prayer, I will not serve in this ministry and not give time to read your word..."

* Extortion prayer
- We demand God to answer our prayers saying, "God, you are so powerful, surely sharing a bit of wealth with me is not a problem rite?"

* Resignation prayer
- We simply give up and tell God "I give up, I don't want to do anything anymore"

It may sound comical but I can identify times when such thots do cross my mind, especially the resignation prayer lately. Is this the way God wants us to approach Him in prayer? Definitely not. It is a relationship. We don't talk like that in relationship so why should we be like this when we are communing with God?

Help me learn to communicate rightly with you, Lord...

shocking!!

My blog is now 1 year old!! Simply amazing... Amazing because I didn't think that I can sustain this blog for so long... I guess it was a good time to remind myself whether this blog has lived to serve it's purpose. There are just so many things I can be grateful to God for, just that my laziness has hindered it from being published. But all in all, I thank God for this channel of giving and do pray that even in the coming year, I would be more disciplined to blog down God's goodness in my life.

He is Our El-Roi

Thought I should record down the testimony I gave in my church service a month ago to remind and remind and remind and remind me again and again and again when the going gets tough. So below is a transcript of what I shared:

Have u ever felt really really down and just dun feel like carrying on? I felt like this just 2 weeks ago when I was tasked to plan for a particular project. I felt like Job (read Job 3:1-4, 11, 24-26), cursing the day I was tasked with the project when i was thrown by a barrage of questions and issues. With my 13 years as a Christian and 3 years ++ in full time ministry, I still thot I had experienced enuff difficulties to be able to handle anything. But this time was so bad, I could hardly put up a smile. So it was kind of fake, where I had to put up a smile in front of students but then after that, I sink into what young people would term as 'emo-ness'.

The thought of running away and giving up was very strong. I tried to reason with myself saying that since there's no joy, might as well don't do since we are supposed to serve God cheerfully. But God reminded me, through songs, people, book but especially His Word, that running away is not the solution! The flesh always thinks about running away on the sight of difficulty because it is not within it's comfort zone but running away when it comes to serving Him has never been a solution in God's dictionary. I think of Jonah, Moses, Joshua etc.

Allow me to share with you just one thing that helped me bounce back and shook me up to put me in the right perspective when it comes to serving Him. I am currently doing my devotion on the different names of God, and God very timely showed me that He is a God who sees, our El-Roi. (Gen 16:13) Even though people may not know what is going on within me, even though it may seem like an impossible task ahead, God sees all these things. And if He sees, I can be assured that He is in control and on top of the situation. He is not a God who sees but is helpless or a God who likes to see me suffer. He is moulding me. This simple truth turned me around.

I do not know if I will fall again, but one thing I know: He is my El-Roi, the God who sees. Finally it is not what I can do, but what God can do through me. And if God called me to the task, I can be sure that He will qualify me for the task ahead!

But what actually comforted me the most about the experience God put me through is that it was an encouragement to the others in my church (at least 2 that I know of). I guess that's when I must be mindful of all that the Lord puts me through because it can be a source of encouragement and comfort for others around me.

what's necessary is often not what's easy

I bought my grandma out to eat yesterday and I must say that it is quite a feat to do it by myself. At many points I felt my patience running think and begin thinking to myself, "Why am I doing this?". First of all, walking to the restaurant alone is a challenge in itself. Given the condition of my grandma, it took us 30min before we reach the place which I would usually only take 7min. Then upon reaching the place, she started complaining and say "Why come here? Waste money.". Within me I was like, "Hello, I bring you out to eat, just eat can?". What's the saddest part for me is throughout the whole journey to and fro and the meal, I tried to strike conversations with her but somehow it just couldn't connect. I either get a blank look or a disconnected reply. Apparently the only thing that gets her talking is when she complains about my sister and my father.

As I reflected upon the whole encounter, my first reaction is to give up and not bring her out too often next time. But God timely sent 2 reminders, through a sister and a brother, to tell me to not give up but press on because this is something necessary. I guess what my grandma wants is just to spend time with her, physically. So though I may not be able to strike a conversation this time round, I can always try again the next time. I can't expect a ONE time immediate effect to take place with my ONE time effort. And though it may feel a little irritating and frustrating at times, if I don't keep showing concern for her, I may not have the opportunity to do so next time. I guess these are good enough reasons for me to bring her out more often the next time. :)

My first sec sch frd wedding...

Upon attending my sec sch friend's wedding, lots of thots flashed through my mind. How I used to follow him around and see him thrash up other guys outside the school, to studying with him at Chinese Swimming Club for our 'O' levels to working out together to losing contact with him for a while then finally catching up again over supper at blk 85 (thx to FB), it has been quite a memorable journey with this friend of mine. And of cos, the thing I *salute* him for the most is the fact that the girl he is marrying is our classmate whom they have been around together since then and now finally tying the knot. It is good to know that such faithfulness and 专一-ness still exist! In a society where people are switching relationships like changing clothes, there are still people out there working to make their relationships work rather than breaking up when the going gets tough. So, keep it up bro! I wish you 2 a blessed marriage and may you 2 be drawn closer to God as you are now together as one.