"On taking pains to raise boys in a way that ensures they avoid pain: "We are raising our young boys to be way too soft, way too careful, as if the ultimate prize in our parenting of boys is to get them to 18 years old and say they never got hurt, nothing bad ever happened. They never experienced pain. They never experienced disappointment. They have just had a wonderfully smooth life. What you've done, you have handicapped that boy for the rest of his life," Stinson counseled. "He will be a weak, soft, ineffective man."
On the typical local church men’s ministry: "You cannot just put a bunch of men together and assign them to a care group like some sort of E-Harmony for men and think that is going to solve and fix and help the masculine soul. We have modeled most of our men's ministries after our women's ministries -- get the men together, read a book together, hold their hands and pray together and talk about the worst sin that you ever did -- and that ain't happening. Men solve problems. They fix stuff. They get stuff done. When we give men such weak assignments -- we put them on the bereavement committee and the flower committee and the grounds committee and the fellowships committees -- give men a God-sized task that they know requires a man."
On the missiological fallout in the local church of raising boys that are soft: "We're telling our boys, 'Don't jump your bike. Don't climb that tree. Don't fall down, don't get hurt. And then when they are 18 or 17, pastors are calling out for the men in this church -- maybe even particularly the single men to take some risk: 'We are trying to reach this unreached people group. We don't know what's going to happen there and we need some of you that may not have families yet but some men with courage, with ambition, godly ambition, we need you to help.' You think that guy is raising his hand? You told him not to jump his bike, not to even climb a tree. You told him the worst thing in the world is don't get hurt. That's the main thing. He's not going anywhere, and he's not going to pursue your daughter, because he's weak and scared and has no godly ambition. When he gets knocked down he's not getting back up. He has no godly resilience."
I find this so true. In fact, I find this an add-on to what I have been thinking about when I look at the current situation of men. And maybe sometimes I fear the students under me get hurt or unable to take the pressure so I decide to be nice and understanding to them. But will my action cause them to be one with no godly resilience and tenacity? Gotta evaluate how I have been handling the students under my care...
"Pain is weakness leaving the body..."
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