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    Tuesday, January 19, 2010

    one mind-boggling thing in my mind...

    When was the last time you hear of someone's stories and experiences, and you begin to wonder why I do not have similar experiences like them? You may be thinking like me "Why can't I state examples like they do and speak with that amount of passion I see in them?" There are some people in my life where every time I hear them speak, I always feel motivated and desire to just be like them. So I would think how I can take wholesale what I heard and share/teach it to others when the opportunity arise. But I realized that after I just take what I hear and deliver it to others, it is soOOOoOooo fake and the effect is soOoOoOoOo different... Of cos one reason is God made all of us different but I think the bigger issue is because I may have the form but am lacking in the substance and inner conviction.

    As I thought about this, until my relationship with Him is intimate, it will never be real. Conclusion is this: You can read much, hear much, be touched much but it will never make a difference until you decide to do something about it. We cannot just tide through life and yet hope to make an impact for God with this life we have. I am praying that God will teach me to FORSAKE my personal agendas and aspiration, so as to be FREE to follow God FULLY. I guess when I am conscious of this, the substance and inner conviction will slowly develop and show itself in the way I speak. Then only I think what I say and share will be real and useful to those I speak to. If not, I am just delivering a speech and not a truth.

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