follow the heart? or follow the mind?

It seems that recently the thing that keeps popping up is this whole thing about mission statements and principles... It gets a bit technical and my sinful self tells me to don't bother thinking about it but I guess it is necessary if I want to live a principled life and not a emotion-led life. Below are some things I will need to think about:

1) Reasons for getting married
2) Rules of engagement during dating, courtship and marriage phase
3) Basis for spending
4) Basis for giving
5) Correcting a student
6) Leading the team
7) Why I am still in full time ministry

I guess there will be many more principles I will need to sort out in my life. As much as possible, I would want to be able to give a biblical basis for every decision I make and not a "I do it because I do it lor..." mentality. My church recently asked how we would define "success". I define it this way, "Able to live a life that others want to emulate because it reflects who Christ is". Living a principled life is a must, if I want to leave something worth emulating for those I lead and meet.

coaching...

One of the hope I always and still have, is that somehow through my opportunities to coach, I may use it as an opportunity to bring in the gospel to the students I meet. But my perspective towards coaching took a slight changed when I came across this quote/example from an article I read:

"The former Leeds United chaplain, John Jackson, used to say, “I don’t go to the football club to take God in. He is already there. I just go in case he needs an errand boy!”"

That should be the perspective I hold as a Christian. I am not in ministry to start something, I am there to be an instrument to be used by God.

questions questions questions...

call me a cheapo but there are really many other good articles out there that are very helpful to help me think through issues in my life. And below is a list of questions John Piper penned down to help one think about when preparing for marriage which will provide me good guidelines as I think through this issue myself: (edited a little)

Theology

• What do you believe about...everything?
• Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?

Worship and Devotion

• How important is corporate worship? Other participation in church life?
• How important is it to be part of a small accountability/support group?
• What is the importance of music in life and worship?
• What are your daily personal devotional practices? Prayer, reading, meditation, memorization.
• What would our family devotions look like? Who leads out in this?
• Are we doing this now in an appropriate way: praying together about our lives and future, reading the Bible together?

Husband and Wife

• What is the meaning of headship and submission in the Bible and in our marriage?
• What are expectations about situations where one of you might be alone with someone of the opposite sex?
• How are tasks shared in the home: cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, yard work, car upkeep, repairs, shopping for food, and household stuff?
• What are the expectations for togetherness?
• What is an ideal non-special evening?
• How do you understand who and how often sex is initiated?
• Who does the checkbook—or are there two?

Children

• If and when, should we have children? Why?
• How many?
• How far apart?
• Would we consider adoption?
• What are the standards of behavior?
• What are the appropriate ways to discipline them? How many strikes before they’re...whatever?
• What are the expectations of time spent with them and when they go to bed?
• What signs of affection will you show them?
• What about school? Home school? Christian school? Public school?

Lifestyle

• Own a home or not? Why?
• What kind of neighborhood? Why?
• View of money in general. How much to the church?
• How do you make money decisions?
• Where will you buy clothes: Department store? Thrift store? In between? Why?

Entertainment

• How much money should we spend on entertainment?
• How often should we eat out? Where?
• What kind of vacations are appropriate and helpful for us?
• How many gadgets?
  
• Should we have a television? Where? What is fitting to watch? How much?
• What are the criteria for movies and theater? What will our guidelines be for the kids?

Conflict

• What makes you angry?
• How do you handle your frustration or anger?
• Who should bring up an issue that is bothersome?
• What if we disagree both about what should be done, and whether it is serious?
• Will we go to bed angry at each other?
• What is our view of getting help from friends or counselors?

Work

• Who is the main breadwinner?
• Should the wife work outside the home? Before kids? With kids at home? After kids?
• What are your views of daycare for children?
• What determines where you will locate? Job? Whose job? Church? Family?

Friends

• Is it good to do things with friends but without spouse?
• What will you do if one of you really likes to hang out with so and so and the other doesn’t?

Health and Sickness

• Do you have, or have you had any, sicknesses or physical problems that could affect our relationship? (Allergies, cancer, eating disorders, venereal disease, etc.)
• Do you believe in divine healing and how would prayer relate to medical attention?
• How do you think about exercise and healthy eating?
• Do you have any habits that adversely affect health?

Awesome~!

Is this God's Will?

This was something I read and I found it really practical to help any Christian to have a good "feel" as to whether what they do and what Scriptures say are coherent. Students always ask, "How do I know if this is what God wants me to do?" Here's 12 rules that will hopefully guide us when we engage with Scriptures:

1. If I find something with which I cannot agree, I am wrong.
2. If I find something which I cannot understand, I am wrong to judge it on that account. Here Lyons gives an unforgettable quote from the great D.M. Lloyd-Jones: "You have a very small brain and you have a very poor spirit within you; do not be surprised that you cannot understand."
3. If I find something which would contradict the clear teaching of Scripture elsewhere, I cannot be right.
4. If I find something which would slander the revealed character of God, I am certainly wrong.
5. If I find something which brings up an apparent contradiction, I am wrong not to face it squarely.
6. If I find something which leads to a summary principle, I am wrong if I do not follow it to its conclusion.
7. If I find something which disturbs my settled convictions, I am wrong to dismiss it on that account.
8. If I find something which calls for decisive action and I remain inert, I am fatally wrong.
9. If I find something which I dare not follow in its practical drift, I am destructively wrong.
10. If I find something which others blush to admit or struggle to avoid, I am unwise to follow them at that point. A great quote from Calvin: "The delicacy of those who affect an appearance of greater prudence than the Holy Spirit in removing or resolving difficulties, is quite intolerable."
11. If I find something upon which popular religion frowns, I may presume I am on the right track. C.H. Spurgeon famously said, "Be assured there is nothing new in theology except that which is false."
12. If I find something which would tend to humble man and glorify God, I am most probably right.

~ taken from a cbmw blog article...

am I careful or fearful?

^{2 Cor 5:7}We live by faith, not by sight.

A very common verse with a seemingly easy way to understand it. But I was brought to see how I have been actually living against what this "simple" verse has been telling me to. It surfaced as I was sharing with some brothers about how I am a very careful person. Careful to think ahead what the possible implications my decision would lead to. And often, if the implications end up me having to do things I do not like or do not want to face, I will shrink from making the decision. It can even be seen in the way I play games. It just goes to show how consistently "careful" I am. I then recall a decision I made when I was sec 2. I had the opportunity to appeal to go to the express stream as my results were not too bad. But I decided not to go ahead with it as I wanted to study at a easier pace, thinking that the express stream will be too "xiong" for me. A somewhat seemingly logical statement but I only now began to see the sinfulness that is packed in that decision I made 12 years ago.

Sad to say, I was and I still am living by sight and not by faith. I think about the appointments and roles that are assigned to me. If it is something I think is manageable, I will take it up. If I think I cannot do it, I will reject it or do it without much willingness. I think about relationships. I see that particular someone, I think about all the potential barriers that I have to face and that holds me back from even starting one.

On one hand, I don't think God would His children to do things without thinking, but it is how when you know that this is the biblically correct thing to do, you trust God and do it. Finally, how then can I live by faith and not by sight? It is easy to mouth it and say "I want to". But to really live it out, I think I will need a lifetime to find out the answer. But what I can and need to do now is to really stick close to what God says in His Word (even when it hurts) and continually seek godly counsel (even when it's personal) and trust that God will only give me the best in my life!