am I a fool?

I think I am a person who learns through the hard way. I dun like it, but I often learn through the hard way. What's my problem? I think it's often due to lack of objectivity and pride. And it can be quite frustrating many a times, both for myself and those who are working with me and under me.

I have seen over the past few weeks how my indecisiveness caused much frustrations from the people I work with in many instances. I guess it's high time I stop looking at my own small circle, thinking that my decisions will not affect those around me but to learn to make decisions. What's the worst thing that can happen? I make a wrong decision lor... But at least I will learn from that wrong decision. So how can I make good decisions? I gotta know what I want. Sometimes I just go with the flow and in the end, I dunno what I am doing at all. That's not good. That's no ownership. And that will drive good people mad.

And to add to that, I think I a fool. But I dunwan to remain as a fool. As Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." So gotta learn to listen out for advice and stop becoming proud and feed my own preferences to things.

I wonder if I will be able to emerge out "victorious" amidst all these challenges ahead of me...

one way to look at suffering

We are too sinful to be left without suffering. And the world is too sinful to see our love unless it comes with suffering. Therefore, for our sake and their sake God appoints tribulation for all who would conquer their own sin and offer salvation to the nations. ~ John Piper

This is a interesting quotation that I read (Thanks to Randy Yeo) that does shed some light on the way one should view suffering on this world. As the good old chinese saying that says, 人不见棺材，不流泪。Often it is true isn't it? Only when we begin to suffer and despair, then will we begin to realize how finite and incapable we are in reality. I guess God knows the best way to wake us up as individuals. Unless we come before God broken and with humilty, we will never see the need for a Savior in our lives.

survey on movies!!

For those of you aged between 11 - 24 (not mentally but physically, haha) , do help me out with this survey. Wanna find out the movie appetite of young people nowadays!

...Click if you are below 24 years old...

we are all colored...

We all have our prejudices. When we look at a certain thing, we bring into it our past experiences, feelings, principles and preferences when we evaluate that thing. (Example: If I now look at a very young couple on the street, I would think that the relationship is unlikely to last due to past experiences.) Is it possible to be objective in evaluating something? Tough. More so for someone like me who feels very strongly towards my likes and dislikes. But it is not impossible. I think I was brought to see Rom 12:2 in a different light today during consolidation.

²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will

The word here is transformed, which comes from the word metamorphoō. It means to change into another form, to transform, to transfigure. We know that after we become Christians, we need to change our thinking and but we do it slowly, bit by bit, introducing God's principles and hopefully find ourselves changing one step at a time. Yes, it is a progressive change but the verse is really suggesting not just a progressive change but also a total change. It is not about adding on to what we already think we know but it's about throwing out totally what we used to think is right and wrong and refining and changing the way we think and act using His Word as the reference. So tough yet so needful especially in a world where opinions thrive but truth don't. I'll need to learn to think, objectively with the Word of God as the yardstick every single day, hour and minute of my life.

a little help...

Hey guys and gals. If u are aged between 12-21 years old, can u help me with this survey? doing a survey on youth trends nowadays, specifically with regards to religion. If can help me spam this in your blogs, even better!!

Click Here to take survey

Get Real!

"You Christians one kind one. Got ulterior motive in being friends with us. Once we say we are not interested in your religion, you disappear..."

This was one of the examples shared during my CG out, when we were on the topic of evangelism. This example in particular strikes me hard as a youth worker. And I do feel guilty about it. I think about the many students whom I have contacted throughout the ministry and how in wanting to be relevant in my sharing with them and creating an opportunity to share, I would spend time smsing, playing, going out with them etc. But once the gospel is shared and there seems to be no positive response, I would then put them aside and start focusing on other students. It is a dilemma. On one hand, I have only but one life and 24 hours a day. And there are many many young people out there who have not heard the gospel before. I can’t possible just invest my whole time on a group of people who are not responding to the gospel. But on the other hand, have I become like a factory worker, pragmatic and just number-crazy to want to reach out to as many as possible and chucking those who responded negatively aside? It is then no wonder why that particular friend would feel this way towards Christians.

I believe that this tension will continue to exist. There is no way I can forgo quantity for quality (we need to be relevant in our sharing) and quality for quantity (the harvest is plentiful and night is coming where no one can work). What I believe this calls for is genuineness. The way I view each individual I meet, must be seen as lives, which God loves. That should be the motivating factor for me to spend time with him and share to him. If I view an individual as a number to achieve, it will eventually show and my relating with him will be seen as very fake. This is probably one of the biggest problem Christians have in reaching out to people. We are more concerned about targets and accounting to our leaders but we forget why in the first place we are doing this. Especially in the ministry I am in, I would need to constantly remind myself to be real and genuine in my relating with the young people I meet in the course of my ministry. It is just so easy to go into a routine and forget why I am doing what I am doing. That is why this work I am doing is something I cannot do with my own strength but only with all His energy…

1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5...

This first aid course I just attended has been truly beneficial. As compared to the 1st course I went 3 years ago, this one provided me with more than just the course requirements but much more from the personal experiences shared by the instructor. But as I hear the instructor share and teach, a few things crossed my mind:

1) Will I even dare to do CPR on a live person? It is a tremendous task because my decision could just make the difference! Every 1 min when a person's hear stop beating, 10% of his/her life is gone. 10mins. That's at max the time one have to stand a chance of survival.
2) The wonder of the human body. It is so intelligently designed! Examples: The arteries + veins + capillaries contained in our body, when joined together is enough to go around the world 2.5 times! And all that is contained within us. Fainting is our body's safety mechanism to prevent further complications. Blood rushes to the area where an injury occurs to repair it thus causing swelling. And many more other cool stuff!
3) The value of life. Throughout the course, the instructor made statements like, "we are made to love, not kill", "cherish life", "our job is to try to save lives" etc. And indeed we must value life because God values it. If not, He won't be sending His only Son to die for our sins!
4) Why is it that someone like my instructor is not a believer after witnessing the wonder of creation? Someone who speaks with much conviction about life and it's wonder, comes to a conclusion that there is a Creator, yet do not see his need for a Savior.
5) Expect the unexpected. The instructor was sharing about how one can be cut by a toilet bowl, bitten by a snake while sitting on the toilet bowl, strike by lighting, knock by cars, meet with traffic accidents and urge us to be careful because we cannot be sure nothing bad will happen to us. Very biblical! We are not in control of our lives! God is. And when the unexpected happens, will I be ready to meet my Lord?
6) The job of saving lives as a para-medic sounds very very interesting as I hear the instructor share his knowledge and stories. But I am also in this business of saving lives. Minus the blood and visual traumas, I am playing a much more important role that can save a person for all eternity! Do I then do it with passion? And do I then talk about it with conviction?

Much to think and chew about. I encourage others to take up the course too! It may just come in handy one day. :)

so comforting yet so disturbing...

I was talking to one of my friend during one of my weekly bball game on Sundays with a group of solid players. And to my surprise, he told me that he has been listening to a CD of a pastor preaching. What comforted me was to know that the CD was passed to him through a student. Hearing a simple thing like this just reminds me that there are Christians out there who are also busy reaching out, wanting to bring others to come to know Christ.

But what disturbed me was when I asked him, "So how do you feel after listening to him speak?". His reply was, "Ok lah, basically all religion teach the same thing, telling us to be good people..." Now, it is not up to me to judge the pastor whom he listened to but this brought me to think about my own "preaching" and sharing. I began to think about the times when I speak or am sharing. Finally after my sharing, will the audience walk away knowing more about Christ and what He have done for us, or will they walk away thinking that Christianity is simply one of the other good religions to believe in? I guess this simple experience caused me to really re-look into my own sharings, to on the one hand be sensitive and relevant to the audience I am speaking to, but also to be accurate and true to the gospel truth.

It is tempting to say what the people want to hear, often at the expense of truth. I recall the radio advertisement where the slogan was "Hear only the good things" and it is very true in the culture we are in. Because of the wide variety of choice we have, if we don't like a particular something, we just have to find an equivalent and be happy with it. It is subtle and if I am not careful, the Christianity I claim to believe in could just be a "customized-to-my-liking" Christianity. And I believe that the only way to stay true to the authetic Christianity is to stay close to His Word. That way, it will be God calling the shots and not me.

~God, please grant me the discipline to study your Word consistently and thoroughly~

am i useful?

You know what makes me happy? When I feel useful. I realized that yesterday while I was speaking to one student and going thru a POD session with him. After that, when a fellow volunteer mentioned that he actually thanked us for going through the session with him, that kind of made my day. I then reflected, why do I feel this way? And it's for the simple reason that I have been helpful.

Be it in basketball, ministry, doing logistics, relationships, I often would tag my worth in how useful I have been to the team, friends or students I am with. When I miss a basket and cause the team to lose, or did not manage to deliver a message clearly to the students/volunteers under my charge, I feel lousy. When I manage to make an impact in what I do, I feel happy. I guess this is not necessary a bad thing but I must be mindful that this cannot define my worth for my worth is found in God and not in the responses of man or how I feel. God simply put those encouraging moments to spur me on, so that in times of difficulty, I can remember that I can still be of use, if I choose to be used by Him. Reminds me of a decal I have on my table:

"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called"

I can only be as useful as the Lord enables me to.