David sinned by committing adultery with Bathsheba and plotting to kill Uriah. Saul sinned by disobeying God's commands time and again. Both confessed their sins when approached by the priest. Yet David was forgiven but Saul was not. Why? The difference lies in the motivation that moved them to confess and repent. Saul repented as he was afraid that his kingship was in danger. But David repented because he knows that it is against God whom he have done wrong against.
I asked myself. Why will I feel guilty when I've done something wrong? The truth is I am often more afraid of the response I will get from the person I are confessing to and concerned about how that person will look at me, then to the fact that I am sinning against the God Most High. For example, when I turn up late for a meeting or appointment, do I feel guilty? I will, depending on the person who is waiting and the nature of the meeting. But shouldn't I feel guilty because I have not kept my word and was irresponsible to ensure that I was on time? Am I then not inconsistent in my principles? This is just one example of how in my response to things, it showed my inconsistency and areas of weakness.
I guess God shed some light on the issue that have been bugging me over the past few weeks through this. I will need to learn to ask and challenge my responses in order to grow in sensitivity to His Will and then I will be able to point put issues I need to work on. The day I stop questioning will be the day I stop growing. As God showed me this truth while I was preparing for team meeting and spending time evaluating my life during my ICT, I thank God for teaching me this once again, as if to tell me to give a good hard look at this aspect of my life if I am to grow in my walk with Him.
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