random thought, yet not so random

"Intimacy is the reward of commitment"

~ Joshua Harris

In a world where holding hands and kissing in the public is the norm, such a statement would definitely raise eyebrows. And the world would tell us exactly the opposite. You will often hear phrases like "If you love me, prove it to me!", "Why are you afraid to hold my hand? Don't you love me?" etc. Yes it sounds mushy but it's a reality. We often think that because the couple are so close to one another, they are committed to one another. That can be so wrong! It is super duper, super duper unlikely for one to be committed to another person just because they are close to one another. Commitment comes with an intelligent decision from the mind, not the heart. When our passions get the better of us, it is amazing what kind of reasoning and rationalizing can come to our brain. And believe it or not, the safest way to guard ourselves from being trapped in such sticky situations is really to first set our hearts to be committed to maintain each other's purity until the day of union. Tall order + Tough call, but so necessary, at least for me.

music is the language of the heart 5...

It's coming to the close of 2008. How has your year been? The theme for today's service was along the line of gratefulness. Gratefulness on how God provided for us (the sun, food, water), looked after us (in difficulties and struggles) and protected us (from dangers and sin). Immediately I think about last Sunday and this morning when I was playing basketball with my usual group of friends and walked away with 1 different "gift" at each instance. One was a cut near my eye because of a mis-passed that ended on my face and the other was when I tripped over myself as I was back paddling today and got a nasty abrasion on my back. Things could have gotten worst on both instance, but the Lord was gracious to protect me.

But I guess the ultimate gift that God gave was to send His Only Son to die for us, and this song beautifully captures the extent of God's love for you and me. As i was singing it this afternoon, it's really amazing to think about what God did for us even though we din deserve it. Enjoy it and may it minister to you as it did to me.

[Verse 1]

.E F#m G#m A

How deep the Father's love for us
.E/G# C#m B
How vast beyond all measure
.E F#m G#m A
That He would give His only Son
.E/B B E
To make a wretch His treasure

.E/G# C#m B A
How great the pain of searing loss
.E/G# C#m B
The Father turns His face away
.E F#m G#m A
As wounds which mar the chosen One
.E/B B E
Bring many sons to glory

[Verse 2]
Behold the Man upon a cross
My guilt upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

[Verse 3]
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no powr's, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

interesting quotes...

Stumbled across these set of quotations while clearing my cupboard.

• "If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can be sure the water bill is higher..."
• "Personality opens doors; Character keeps them open!"
• "The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention..."
• "The discipline of desire is the background of character..."
• "Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength..."

But the one that captured me the most is this:

"Devoting a little of yourself to everything is committing a great deal of yourself to NOTHING..."

People who are passionate about something is worthy of respect. At least they are clear what they want in life (or think they are clear) and work hard to pursue their dreams and goals in life. What is the thing you will be passionate about? What is the thing I will be passionate about? I pray that as God continues to lead me in my journey with Him, it will become clearer and clearer to me especially when I am one who can be easily distracted by my "wants". In the meantime, gotta pray that I will spend my time purposefully and be wise in making the different choices laid out before me.

no need = NO NEED?

Does it mean that when we dun see the need for something, we can do without it? But this is probably one perspective in life we hold. When we dun feel hungry, we won't be hunting for food. When we are not tired, we will not think of sleeping etc. So similarly, I guess when one is successful in life, one won't see the need for God to take control on their life. I was at a mini Christmas celebration organized by my church during Christmas and got to talk to a particular friend. He's probably someone we would deem as a successful person. Just finished army, is knowledgeable, pursuing a degree in the university, knows what he wants to work as next time, owns a car, what else could one ask for? So naturally when I ask him about his opinion about Christianity, he shared with me that he doesn't see the need to believe in a god at the moment. To him, all gods have their own good-ness and they might all be true finally. And he believes that religion is a cultural thing, a good thing to have to ease the soul, but not something that one necessarily need to have. How would you share the gospel to someone like him?

Perhaps it is only during a crisis will then someone like him be brought to understand how foolish they have been and see the need for God in their life. Sad to say, I wasn't able to fully explain to him and share with him my answers to some of the ideas he were having due to time constraint. Looking back, I may not have all the answers to the questions and challenges he posed. So it was a good mental exercise for myself, to reaffirm the convictions I hold and to challenge my mind to think beyond what I already know. My prayer for that friend is that one day he may see the need and reality of God. I trust that God will send someone else along the way to reach out to him if he is chosen by Him. Though he may seem to be a tough "nut" to crack, but as said by my church-mate, "God is a nutcracker which can crack any kind of nuts".

questions to consider (1)

John Wesley's self examination "quiz":

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am a better person than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass on what was told to me in confidence?
4. Can I be trusted?
5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habit?
6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
7. Did the Bible live in me today?
8. Do I give God time to speak to me everyday?
9. Am I enjoying prayer?
10. When did I last speak to someone else of my faith?
11. Do I pray about the money I spend?
12. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
13. Do I disobey God in anything?
14. Do I insist on doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
16. Am I jealous, impure, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
20. Is there anyone I fear, or dislike, or criticize, or resent? If so, what am I doing about it?
21. Do I grumble and complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?

To be honest... how to pass this "quiz"??? But I guess the point here is not so much I pass or fail, but for me to constantly check myself to make sure I am keeping in step with doing what God is pleased with. May this be something I ask myself all the time to keep myself on my toes.

...the dark knight...

I got to watch the movie again with my dad on the DVD yesterday. It is just so good! Can understand why some people wouldn't mind watching it again. The Joker was played out superbly! But in the midst of all the solid action, graphics and acting, it's the idea that is being played out in the movie that got me thinking a little.

I will always remember the particular scene where the Joker decided to do a "social experiment". 1 ferry was loaded with prisoners and the other was filled with civilians, and both had oil barrels that is link to a detonator each. His plot was simple. Left a detonator in the individual ferries and gave the people a choice to press it, explaining that the detonator they hold is linked to the bomb on the other ferry. And the people had to make a choice whether to detonate it because when it hits 12 midnight, both ferries will explode, if no one detonates the bomb. Immediately the civilians wanted to hit the button, since the other ferry are filled with prisoners who deserved to be punished anyway. This "experiment" really shows much we VALUE and VIEW life. Would I have also rationalized the same way the civilians did? I might. But I know I would behave exactly like them, not wanting to be the one to "dirty my hands" and press the button. Doesn't it really show how evil we can be? Where we are afraid of losing out but not willing to put ourselves at the chopping board and be blamed when things go wrong? I hand it to the script writer to think of something like this that brings out the sinful human nature within us.

The second thing I caught while watching it again yesterday was what the Joker said:

Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.

This is probably an apt description for many of us, me included. When we need help, out tone and the way we treat someone is with much respect and humility. When the tables are turn, we don't even give a hoot to that someone. For one, we are consistent. Consistent in that when it is of advantage to us, we know how to be nice. When it's of no advantage to us, we simply don't bother. At least that's how ministry with some students are. When they need you (e.g. Tuition, fun etc.), they'll be chasing you. But when they find something better, you'll be chasing them. Guess that also tells me that I need to work on my niche areas and be good in them so that there's good enough reasons for a student to want to meet me.

The second part of what the Joker said also challenged me to consider how firm am I holding on to God's principles in my life? Will I drop it at the first sign of trouble? (Or maybe after the second or third?) Or will those principles I acquired over Bible studies and sermons be truths I will hold on to as long as I live, able to stand the test of time? I was tested recently when I had a tim sum lunch with my mother and uncle. Once again, the topic of the day is "So what are you going to do with your life?" & "You must think about what you will be when you are 40 years old. You cannot be hanging around and doing nothing." At least that's what my uncle thinks. I must admit I was shaken to consider going to get a degree just to pacify them, since I did mention that after my 3 years in SYFC I would consider going to study. But to do that as a reaction to their questioning would be wrong. Must continue to stay focused, firm and prayful for the Lord's leading in my life. :)

~last prayer gathering of the year~

There is nothing that makes us love a man/woman so much as praying for him/her...

- William Law

Simple truths are hard to swallow and be lived out. And prayer is one of them. Prayer is something so basic and simple yet it is often laid aside because of my business and laziness. Was challenged by Khai Ying today to put prayer gathering as something of priority for 2009. I guess my absence does show my lack of love for the community. Of cos that love for the community can be expressed by other means but prayer gathering is one of them as well. And the quote by William Law puts it so plainly. How much I love a person/thing can be seen in the amount of time I spend praying for it. I recall my own prayer life that truly, when matters are pressing and close to the heart, I will spend more time praying about it. May God grant me a bigger heart to learn to love much more than I am today! And yes, to go for prayer gathering more regularly too!

comforting comfort

There are just some moments in life where I will be lost for words. At those moments, I know I need to say something constructive but I am just not sure what to say. Take for example these 3 scenarios:
1) Funerals
2) Talking to older folks while doing house visitation
3) Addressing an issue to someone which I myself have no experience of
What would you say? Other than the usual, “Take care, I will be praying for you” or “I’m so sorry to hear this”, what else can one say? During service yesterday, Rev. Khan spoke on 2 Cor 1:1-11 and entitled his message, “The comfort of God”. That shed some light in helping me to find the right words to say at the right time.

The purpose of the individual trials we face in life is so that we may be perfected and through it, learn something which can be used to help others. – (v.4b ”so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God…”)

All of us can be a comforter because God puts us through different situations in life. Like the army experience will be something mostly only guys would have the opportunity to go through. Or I can never fully understand what an ‘A’ level student goes through in preparation for his/her exams. Given our own “unique” experiences, what is critical is to open our eyes big and see what God is doing in our lives at that moment in time and learn something from it. And those things we learn could just be the kind of advice another person, who is going through the same situation, needs. That is why I thank God for my different situations (e.g. Coming from a broken family, being in the commandos etc.). That gives me a position to talk to people who are in similar situations. They can’t use the “You dun know cos you not in my shoes” excuse and I could share with them how I handled those situations as a Christian.

The effects of God’s comfort is so that one will learn to rely more on God and not on ourselves – v9b “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.”)

Which means that our prayer is not so much that we help the person understand WHY God allowed such a thing to happen in his/her life but that the brother/sister may learn to rely more on God through the experience. Can the words that I speak then mould and shape the other person to be more Christ-like? So it could be something I have not personally experienced, but my prayers can be directed towards drawing that person closer to Christ, rather than focusing simply on how to make that person feel better. Because finally, the best place to draw comfort is from “the God of all comfort” (v.3), not what I can say.

Application:
1) Open my eyes big to see what God is teaching me in my own trials and difficulties.
2) The next time I have to comfort someone, think how my words can draw the person to see the God behind the situation, rather than mouthing the standard phrases.

music is the language of the heart 4...

A song that further reminds me that only God can help me and turn me around from my sinful self. It’s my ringtone now!

[V1]
I've been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

[C]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only One who can undo
What I've become

[V2]
I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

[B]
Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

[O]
You're the only One who can undo
You're the only One who can undo
You're the only One who can undo
What I've become
You're the only One

the day the earth stood still...

Went to watch Keanu Reeves in action yesterday in the movie "The Day The Earth Stood Still". Other than the predictable plot of aliens coming over to exterminate the Earth, and how Earth was finally saved, 2 things struck me.

Firstly was the reaction of the nation when the "alien" first landed on Manhattan. Upon the alien's landing, the first reaction of the Secretary of Defense was to activate the army, the missiles and weapons and artillery to destroy the aliens. It just shows how prone humans are to resort to violence and force to solve problems and issues we face in life. I think about how I want to get all fit and muscular so that people won't dare to bully me. Force seems to be the way to go. Think all the way back 2008 years ago. The Jews were expecting a Messiah who would overthrow the Roman empire and set up a new age for themselves. But Jesus' appearance totally threw their ideologies out of the window. He came "as a Lamb to be slaughter". How radical it must have been for the Jews at that time! They wanted to be saved from their slavery, but God wanted to save them from their sin. Christianity is radical. It's radical because it challenges many of the pre-suppositions we have adopted in the culture and society we are in. But it is also amazing. Amazing that the Lord would choose to save us even after all the wrong we have done.

Secondly was how in the show, upon hearing that the cause of the annihilation was because the humans weren't taking care of the planet Earth, the humans believed that they can CHANGE. They believed that a crisis like this is needed in order to awaken the soul and that it will move the human race to do something about it. To a certain extent, I agree that often during a crisis, people change. It is at those moments we are brought to realization about what matters and we do something to change the situation. But how long do those moments actually last? I personally believe that to have a LASTING CHANGE, we need God. Pure human determination and situations cannot cause the LASTING CHANGE. Only by the power of God, then is lasting change possible. Unless I anchor my reasons for change with the Word of God, it won't be long before I fall back to the same sinful nature as I was before.

The value of our words...

Was watching episode 4 of "Hai Majide~!" (I survived a Japanese Game show) and there's this thing about reality TV shows that brings out the worst in man. We may laugh about it, but if we really take a seat back and consider the different responses that were exhibited in those shows, it can be really scary.

Take the last episode I watched. Meagan made a pact with Donnell and Mary in the previous episode, volunteering to go for elimination provided she is exempted for the next elimination if their team loses again. The team agreed at that point of time. But come episode 4, the team lost again and this is when Donnell started to go back on his word. Finally after much discussion and rationalizing, Donnell was voted to be in the elimination and Mary decided to honor her earlier pact and go for elimination. In the end, Mary lost to Donnell and had to say "Sayonara" to Japan. Mary paid a price for remaining true to her words. She could have choose to go back on her words, based on her excellent performance throughout the gameshow. But I guess for her, honoring her words meant more, though she struggled and had to suffer the consequence.

Am I willing to pay the price to honor my words? It is sad that nowadays words has very little value. A simple phrase like, "I will surely turn up for this appointment", can be easily replaced with many other excuses. Or, "I will help you to do this", can be forgotten and put aside when other things call for our attention. To honor my words may mean coming out of my comfort zone and doing things I may not like. But am I willing to pay that price in order to be a man who can be trusted for the words that I say? It is a tall order, especially in a world where things are shifty and relative. May God help me to a person who 说的到，做的到.

Last Words...

No, not mine but they are really important/significant aren’t they? Especially if you are on the recipient of those words. Was watching Naruto and this episode showed how Captain Asuma was dying and left his last words to his beloved students, encouraging them and telling them areas where they need to work on with his departure. Or even in 火蓝球, when the grandma was on her deathbed and told 元大鹰 that he must 专注 and focus on basketball. These words will really really be a source of great motivation for those living. Recall the last movie/show you watched that showed a scene of someone on the deathbed and leaving his/her last words to the loved one. Touching isn’t it? Always make me tear. Haiz...

But this whole episode reminded me of two things. Firstly, God left us His “last words” which is found in Scriptures. How many of us (me included) would really take heed of those words and have those words encouraging us when we are down? When times are tough, will it be verses that pick me up and motivate me to move on? We probably dun spend as much time on His “last words” than we ought to.

Secondly, what would be the last words I would leave my loved ones with? Will those words be constructive and encourage them to draw closer to God? Or would it simply be tear jerking words that will last only for that moment? Was just talking with boss recently about the whole funeral thingy (which ironically sprang from a conversation on planning birthday parties and how to do it well). If I know I am dying in 6 months time (e.g. cancer), will I prepare for it by filming myself down and with my own words, share the gospel and play it during my funeral? That would be meaningful and cool wouldn’t it? Worth giving a thought to and if the opportunity does come, I ask that the Lord give me the wisdom to do what is best.

music is the language of the heart 3...

Another one of my fave contemporary song as it speaks a lot of what the Lord has done and the rightful response us as recipients should have...

Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

* Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

(P.S: I personally think the word "Sovereign" would be a very good substitute for "Darling"...)

Why Do I Meditate? (On God's Word)

May these be words that forms convictions within me...

Because I am a Christian. Therefore, everyday in which I do not penetrate more deeply into the knowledge of God's Word in the Holy Scripture is a lost day for me. I can only move forward with certainty upon the firm ground of the Word of God. And, as a Christian, I learn to know the Holy Scripture in no other way than by hearing the Word preached and by prayerful meditation.

Because I am a preacher of the Word. I cannot expound the Scriptures for others if I do not let it speak daily to me. I will misuse the Word in my office as preacher if I do not continue to meditate upon it in prayer. If the Word has become empty for me in my daily administrations, if I no longer experience it, that proves I have not let the Word speak personally to me for a long time. I will offend against my calling if I do not seek each day in prayer the word that my Lord wants to say to me for that day.

Quotation from Dietrich Bonhoeffer

SGD RNTQBD NE LX RDBTQHS

In case you think I'm going nuts, I just used "Caesar Cipher" to encrypt my title for fun. :)

Was reading on my way to office in the morning and in the chapter I was reading, the author said that,

"If we give up biblical principles for quick results or what seems to be an easy way out of problems, we lose the security of being anchored to the Word. This loss of security is, I believe, a primary cause for burnout in the ministry..."

The author urged the readers to never, Never, NEVER, neglect their own PERSONAL time with God. And the reason is simple, the Word is the only infallible thing in this world. And because it is reliable, it gives us the security that we need in this world. Ministry cannot be my primary source of security. If it is, I am bound for burnout when the going gets tough. God is soOoOooOoo wise, because He knows that I need to hear this.

To watch my own life
I was just talking to 2 different individuals over the past 2 days on the need for them to individually spend time reading God's Word consistently if they want to see certain breakthroughs in their lives and the Lord is now reminding me to watch my own personal time with Him and not neglect it. It would be extremely hypocritical if I tell others to do it while I don't.

To see that His Word really provides comfort and strength
And as I was having my quiet time today on 2 Thess 3:1-13, the verse that stood out was in verse 13, "As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good." It has been very challenging, when I have to handle the different situations and problems that my students/volunteers were having. And I am practically thinking about how to solve those issues. The easy way out is to let that person be and give up on them. But what does God say? Do not grow weary in doing good! It is one thing to hear fellow colleagues comforting and suggesting ways to handle the issues but it is another to hear from the living God Himself that He is faithful and therefore I should not lose heart in doing what is right!

God is soOoOOooooOO timely. And He is, all the time, just that I may not be opening my eyes big enough to see His wonderful work in my life.

"不凡的爱"

Went back to Pasir Ris Camp for a post Army Exercise I went to in May, and the purpose was to check for HIV. Upon getting the notification, I MSNed my friend and asked him about it. Then we begin to embark into an interesting converstaion about the whole HIV thingy. He told me about how fearful he was about the whole review. Not that he was guilty or anything, he was more concerned about whether the results will turn out to be positive or not. I then asked him what would he do, if he found out that he contracted HIV? He then said he would quit his job and start a business, hoping to start afresh.

From a converstation like this, it is no secret that everyone would be fearful of contracting an incurable disease. Imagine all the humilations and adjustments one would have to make in order to fit back into society? What would you do? What would I do as a Christian? It is a question worth THINKING about. It would be easy for me to say I will still carry on to live my life and believe in God but when the crunch comes, will I really be able to live out what I say? I guess words are cheap. It's finally what you will do when you are in that situation that counts. And it's not about putting up a front but who you are deep inside that matters...

"Lord help me to be a man who is careful with my words. And may the words that I say be honest, truthful and well-thought through even before it proceeds out from my mouth..."