comforting comfort

There are just some moments in life where I will be lost for words. At those moments, I know I need to say something constructive but I am just not sure what to say. Take for example these 3 scenarios:
1) Funerals
2) Talking to older folks while doing house visitation
3) Addressing an issue to someone which I myself have no experience of
What would you say? Other than the usual, “Take care, I will be praying for you” or “I’m so sorry to hear this”, what else can one say? During service yesterday, Rev. Khan spoke on 2 Cor 1:1-11 and entitled his message, “The comfort of God”. That shed some light in helping me to find the right words to say at the right time.

The purpose of the individual trials we face in life is so that we may be perfected and through it, learn something which can be used to help others. – (v.4b ”so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God…”)

All of us can be a comforter because God puts us through different situations in life. Like the army experience will be something mostly only guys would have the opportunity to go through. Or I can never fully understand what an ‘A’ level student goes through in preparation for his/her exams. Given our own “unique” experiences, what is critical is to open our eyes big and see what God is doing in our lives at that moment in time and learn something from it. And those things we learn could just be the kind of advice another person, who is going through the same situation, needs. That is why I thank God for my different situations (e.g. Coming from a broken family, being in the commandos etc.). That gives me a position to talk to people who are in similar situations. They can’t use the “You dun know cos you not in my shoes” excuse and I could share with them how I handled those situations as a Christian.

The effects of God’s comfort is so that one will learn to rely more on God and not on ourselves – v9b “But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.”)

Which means that our prayer is not so much that we help the person understand WHY God allowed such a thing to happen in his/her life but that the brother/sister may learn to rely more on God through the experience. Can the words that I speak then mould and shape the other person to be more Christ-like? So it could be something I have not personally experienced, but my prayers can be directed towards drawing that person closer to Christ, rather than focusing simply on how to make that person feel better. Because finally, the best place to draw comfort is from “the God of all comfort” (v.3), not what I can say.

Application:
1) Open my eyes big to see what God is teaching me in my own trials and difficulties.
2) The next time I have to comfort someone, think how my words can draw the person to see the God behind the situation, rather than mouthing the standard phrases.